One of my most difficult experiences as a teacher was the year I taught a group of middle school girls who were incredibly disrespectful to me. Many of my colleagues completely side stepped disciplining them by simply giving up teaching them or showing them videos. I just couldn’t stomach dropping all my standards for good education and so I persisted in trying to teach them. They became even more hostile towards me. Eventually, under the guidance of various mental health professionals, I actually stopped teaching them altogether when the students became too disrespectful to me and I simply sat and waited until the end of class. While I wasn’t able to teach, at least I was telling students that basic respect was a prerequisite for me to teach. Eventually I regained control of the class through the use of this technique and various others, but the year did not end on a happy note. The tension was palpable.

Fast forward to two years later when these students were in high school. I was relieved not to be teaching them again, but the strangest thing kept happening- one of the most challenging students and her friends kept showing up to anything voluntary that I was teaching. The most difficult student from middle school was one of my biggest followers during high school. In utter confusion, I asked the school guidance counselor for his insight. His explanation to my question was as follows: no one feels safe when there’s chaos in a classroom and the students are in charge. Those very students who gave me such grief in middle school were the very ones who kept gravitating towards me in high school because when I set down firm boundaries – they actually respected me for it.

The most difficult student also apologized to me in the middle of 10th grade and told me that she really regretted how she spoke to me.

I think the most important lesson to remember about teaching is that we’re planting seeds in our students. They take a while to sprout. Don’t give up- because students respect teachers who have firm boundaries and stick to their principles. They need adults in their lives who they can respect.