Teaching middle school boys can really try your patience. Last year I had a student who was constantly being disruptive and wouldn’t comply no matter what type of educational techniques I used. It felt terrible to have to constantly send him out of class to go to the principals office and see zero improvement.

At my wit’s end, I was inspired by the book Changeable, by Dr. Stuart Ablon, to try something new.

I invited this student to a friendly non confrontational meeting. After I felt that he was relaxed enough to come up with an idea to help him succeed, I asked him: what do you think will help you to behave well in class and try your best? He came up with a solution that I was skeptical would work. But because it was an idea that would do no harm to this student, myself or to other students- I figured- what have I got to lose? Of course it worked. He became compliant, and an active participant in class.

Dr Ablon explains that when we can remain

“curious and not furious,” and we can allow our children to be co- creators of the solution to the problem, the chances of success are much higher. It’s not easy to find time to meet individually with students – but when the dividends are this high- it pays off.