One of the hardest aspects of being a teacher is that you have to lead even when you’re not popular. Moshe Rabeinu was the ultimate teacher (he is called “Rabeinu- our teacher) and he wanted to quit. In fact, in one of the most shocking sections of Chumash he asked G-d to kill him because he couldn’t take the burden of leading the people. (See Numbers, 11:15).
Unlike his brother, Aharon, Moshe was not beloved by all. He had to rebuke and scold the people when it was necessary. He had to push them from their zone of proximal development into a whole new existence where they had to believe in a G-d Who wasn’t tangible and Who had expectations. It was hard work. And the people he shepherded through the desert let him know how they were feeling ALL.THE.TIME.
I don’t care if you’re a first year teacher or a head of school, there will be times when the right thing to do is to make a call that your students won’t like. They will complain. They might even become obnoxious (overtly or covertly). To teach, is at times to lead people who would rather take the road more traveled because it is easier. They might call you names to your face or behind your back (which is worse?). This can be such a difficult and cruel
awakening for someone who went into teaching from a desire to deeply connect with people. But to be a true leader is to show someone what they can truly become even WHEN THEY DON’T WANT TO DO IT. How do teachers maintain their confidence in their mission and in themselves when the very people who they wanted to help turn against them?
One of the most surprising things that I’ve seen over my years in education is that while students might appear to enjoy usurping the teacher’s power – deep down they don’t feel safe when the teacher isn’t in charge. It’s actually a form of rejection to the students when teachers become overly permissive.
In the aftermath of the first sin recorded in Genesis, G-d gives Adam, Eve and the snake their punishments. The punishments of Adam and Eve seem pretty compatible- they are both told they will struggle in order to be a creator (whether it be to create children or to create food). The snake seems to get off the hook with his punishment – his sustenance will be provided for him readily:
On your belly shall you crawl
And dirt shall you eat
All the days of your life.
(Genesis, 3:14)
Rav Simcha Bunim of Peshischa answers this quandary as follows: G-d is essentially telling the snake when He gives him easy access to food for all eternity is: I’m done with you. I have no interest in being in a relationship with you. Here’s everything you need to live- just leave me alone.
When teachers let a student take control of the classroom – they are essentially saying to the students: I’m done with you. I won’t (or don’t know how to) be in charge of you. Just leave me alone, and I’ll let you be in charge.
Educators are there to foster learning and connection. When the adult is no longer in charge the message the students hear from the teacher is: I’m done with you. I’m no longer invested in your growth.
Even when it hurts to discipline, an educator can maintain her conviction when she remembers that discipline is a form of expressing her love to her students.